… but we make a life by what we give.
I don’t think Michael is aware of this fact.
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Well- I’m having what I call a blah day. It’s not a terrible day, but it’s getting there.
Lately I have been overwhelmed with all the things that I have to do. The final exams in college are killing me and sometimes I feel like I can’t take anymore.
That’s all I’m going to say about that… let’s move on.
Relationship wise everything is going well. However, there are some things about Michael that I really don’t like. We are already past the “honeymoon period” and all the little flaws are showing. I seriously do not expect him to be perfect because I am not perfect, and it would be unrealistic to want a perfect man. However, I do expect some things from a man and I have my standards.
I like a man who is always there for me… ALWAYS! (In the bad moments of my life, that is.)
Somehow, this is something that I am not getting from Michael.
I don’t know if it’s the circumstances but most of the times I need him because I’m feeling bad, he IS ALMOST NEVER THERE. I’m not implying that he does that on purpose but it’s seriously amazing how he is “conveniently” busy when I need him. The worst part is not that- the worst thing is that when he is busy he has a way of making me feel like I’m bugging him.
This is how a “Perla-is-feeling-bad-and-David-is-busy” conversation goes:
-Perla dials his number
-David picks up
David says: “hey- whats up? Are you alright?”
(instantly after picking up the phone, speaks real fast, doesn’t even say the traditional “hello?”)
Translation in Perla’s world: “hey- what you want? I’m busy. If there is nothing wrong then why u bugging me?”
-Perla feels bad after translating what David said.
Perla says: “WOW I can see you kinda busy. Nothing is wrong, why does something have to be wrong for me to call you? It’s a courtesy call.
-David manages one of his stupid-lame-ass-laughs…
David says: “yeah I’m kinda busy. Sorry. It’s ok baby talk to me.. whats up? I know it’s a courtesy call” (again speaking in a rush)
Translation: Yes I am really busy. Sorry!- hurry up and tell me what it is you want to tell me so I can go.
-Perla gets really fucking angry.
Perla says: Well the way you are talking to me it’s not very courtious.
-David manages another lame-ass-laugh.
-Perla says she has to go and hangs up on him.
To me that was just rude. It was rude and mean in many levels. When things like that happen I think about the things that I have gone through for prioritizing him. The other day he called me and told me that he had to talk to me and I rushed home leaving things that I needed to work on. Everything turned out alright at my job, but thats not the point. The point is that he is the first thing in my life- ALWAYS!
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I stepped out to do some things and then called him back a couple of minutes ago. He gave me all this shit about how he doesn’t understand why I would be mad at him just because he is working and because he is busy. Honestly it is not really about that. I am used to his stupid-useless-demanding-dumb-ass job anyways. It’s about him not knowing how to handle things and not knowing how to properly prioritize them. To say the truth I don’t really give a fuck because now on if I need to talk about something that is not quite right in my life, he is not the first person I’m going to. He doesn’t even understand the reasons why I get upset, what makes you think that he would understand my problems?
Whatever…
like I always say- Shit happens! Mostly to me. The best thing to do is go with the flow and maybe drown in the process.
